A man of many faces, Tyler Swanson has little regard for colloquies and sandwiches. Somber at best, determined at worst, he treks the world in search of elephant and whiskers. His poise is incredibly shy, but

articulately becoming. Wizards dance upon his arrival. Maidens adorn glass wings in his presence. His home furnishings include limited irregularly shaped milk bottles, files and tables made out of pure Iridium. His pets include both family and foul; most notable are his

collection of French butterfly-grade chicken hawks, which can only eat other endangered animals to survive. Inventor of the common clap and Uno™, Tyler has encouraged multiple parts of the Sailing community to take up fencing...and in a particularly odd twist has won the Nobel Peace Prize for the "quotation marks". Warrants have been issues in 9 countries for his arrest for looking too good in those pants. He is both American and Cuban, but will speak neither language, because languages are for wimps.



He will only sign autographs on Tuesdays.